(written several thanksgivings ago and re-posted here, a day late, for your leftover pleasure)
Fasten off wattle (using red). Attach red to any head-cluster
insane fasten of secure ends. Make sure wings
hang free so they appear to “flap”. Repeat for red wattle:
wrap around your finger to form spirals. Hang snood red
on neck. Cut around red or wattle. To create eyes, draw
a black void on each pom-pom, then cut out all yellow and
glue construction in place. Perverse people can order
wattle dimsum dumplings in New York’s Chinatown.
Uninflate “nose” at one end, then knot off the wattle. To make
turkey talk, cut out a pair of small felt triangles and glue
them to opposite sides. What is the bright red appendage?
Loose changes in your neck can make you look older.
It feels like your ear lobe. Carefully moisten a V-shape
arising from the forehead. Glue on two googly eyes and fill up
with blood. Make the turkey’s lungs knot together
in center of folded napkin (do not inflate them).
You put your whole wattle in
You put your whole wattle out
You put your whole wattle in
And you shake it all about.
I don’t dare write a truthful personal ad: “Enlarged pores, dozens
of new age spots, emergent wattle. Boop-bleep-boop-
whooo-blip I’m Ronald Reagan. I’m … mind?” As in mammals,
birds have a four-chambered heart; however,
a Turkey’s heart is proportionately larger and more powerful.