My how I like the Jonathon Wilcke poems on Ron’s site. For reasons that should be obvious.
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Keep Your Sunny Side Up, Up!
Hey, I’m supposed to die on my birthday: Friday, January 14, 2022. That’s if I’m pessimistic.
Thanks, Behrle, for the deathclock link.
If I’m “normal” instead of “pessimistic”: Saturday, March 28, 2043. That’s more like it!
Why It’s Immaterial Whether You or I or Anyone Else Might be a Narcissist
or
Another Chihuahua Story
Just back from a shopping trip to Church Avenue. On my way I saw a woman standing in front of a shop holding a tiny white puppy that looked hardly old enough to be away from its mother. “Oh, so cute!,” I said, “Is it a chihuahua?” “Yes,” the woman said, pouring water from a bottle over the puppy, whose whole body fit in one of her hands. “How old is it?” “It doesn’t matter anyway, because it’s dead,” she snapped, continuing to douse it with water.
One quality of a narcissist that I do not believe I have is this one:
Evokes fear in others: the web of mystery that the narcissist spins around himself makes others leary of him
“Evokes fear in others”… jeez
Of the 25 behaviors listed there that I believe I do not display, I very EMPHATICALLY believe I do not display.
Again, I could be wrong.
Big ol’ list of the qualities of a narcissist here.
From that list, I believe that 2 of 2 moods, 8 out of 33 behaviors and 1 out of 4 defense mechanisms. Does that make me a card-carrying narcissist?
MOODS
1. Chronic (long term) negative effects: anxious, fearful, tense, irritable, angry
2. Rapidly shifting moods: a narcissist’s mood changes dailyBEHAVIORS
1. Overly concerned about health
2. Excessive talking: leads to inappropriate self-disclosure as well as exposure about anything he knows or preceives about others
3. Overly dramatic presentation of emotion: could well be known as the “drama” queen or king (negative emotions), exaggerates the importance of his experiences
4. Jealous and envious: ridicules the achievements of others
5. A sense of time urgency: is impatient
6. Socially rebellious and does not conform to societal expectations:
7. Attention seeking: wants to be the center of attention and will do anything to achieve this (may dress in a different or absurd way or behave ridiculously)
8. Loves his reflection: expect to see a lot of mirrors hanging in the narcissist’s house
DEFENSE MECHANISMS
1. Devaluation: negates anyone who inflicts a narcissistic injury
Kasey is, like, my idol.
OK, so introspection is one thing, all very well and good.
But public introspection? What’s that [this] about?
More narcissistic supply?
Marianne asks, “Aren’t all artists narcissists?”
What do **you** think?
OK, here’s the stuff from the DSM IV (2000), as quoted on Vaknin’s site: (following each is a self-diagnosis)
An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or in behaviour), a need for admiration and a marked lack of empathy which starts at early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts.
At least 5 of the following should be present for a person to be diagnosed as suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
* Possesses a grandiose sense of self-importance (for example: exaggerates his achievements and his talents, expects his superiority to be recognised without having the commensurate skills or achievements); [OK maybe a little, but so reflexively that I was able to write the line David Hess criticized: “I have an exaggerated sense of my own unimportance.”]
* Pre-occupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of ideal love;[“Preoccupied with” — no. “Unlimited” –no. I plead somewhat guilty to the last fantasy.]
* Believes that he is unique and special and that only high status and special people (or institutions) could understand him (or that it is only with such people and institutions that it is worth his while to be associated with);
[“unique and special” — sure — like everyone else! “high status” — fuck no. “special people and institutions” — yes. definitely.]
* Demands excessive and exceptional admiration;[Not “demands” but desires. Not “excessive”/ maybe “exceptional”.]
* Feels that he is deserving of exceptionally good treatment, automatic obeisance of his (usually unrealistic) expectations;[I don’t know about “automatic” — that is, I don’t mind being a little pushy about it. Actually, this sounds more like my grandmother, Geri Goldberg, or “glamour gramma” as I called her, who was a Jewish-American QUEEN. ]
* Exploitative in his interpersonal relationships, uses others to achieve his goals; [I really do not think so, but correct me if I am wrong. Gary helps me to achieve my goals but I don’t think I USE him — he volunteers.]
* Lacks empathy: is disinterested in other people’s needs and emotions and does not identify with them;[Hogwash, absolutely not.]
* Envies others or believes that others envy him;[Yes.]
* Displays arrogance and haughtiness. [OK. maybe a little]
Conclusion: narcissistic traits are present, but there is no DISORDER as such. But the jury’s still out on this one.
Otohime 