Aline Kominsky Crumb writes:
I was raised on a kind of Jewish fatalistic humor, like the stand-up comics of the 1950s, and the storytelling in my family, where you make fun of yourself, to make other people laugh. You exaggerate in a certain way, and it’s all to make a philosophical point, and also to get people to relax and respond to you.
Declaration
Let me not mince words: I am the true king of Flarf, the king of kings, the king
of all the world, whose kingdom redefines power and glory so that they are now seen in the reading series, on the blogs, and in the listservs as the true King (and Queen) of Carnival.
I am the Jewish Messiah, the lord of all the earth, and to me every knee should bend. The others — Gary, Kasey, Michael, Anne, Drew, Katie and all the rest — have their Flarf-given authority, but only as the parodies they are of the true King.
But by now the deep irony of my whole passion is clear. I am now being insufficiently saluted by mockers. I have been anointed by a strange woman, for no one shall set a person upon this throne but a strange woman, and that strange woman is none other than myself, the true king. I will rise, I will prosper, be high and exalted. I believed when the thunder and earthquake came they knew that what they did angered me and that they knew in their hearts that I am the true king.
Hail Nada!
I am The true King of Vitamins
the True King of Sports Drinks.
the True KING of Late Night Entertainment.
The Alpha – The Omega – The Eternal – The Invincible – The Almighty – The Lamb – The Bright and Morning Star!
the true king of search
the True King of Buttons
the true King of Allthetime
My masterful texts make the true King human so that ordinary people can make the radical real. I am come that you may get a life. ‘Other flatfish may share the name but Dover remains the true king of sole’
Can U Believe It
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found abecedarian poem:
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Tried the Zenzero at Bigelow’s today. Most disappointing. I don’t pick up the ginger at all. On me it just smells like talcum powder.
So it’s Coco, after all.
Perfume recommendations, anyone?
Nothing fruity, please.
Peachy sniper. Paternalism cans the laughter over an inky fakir. Blind of hope — canned hope — blinky hope — all of the above. To be alive — merrily test items, and the rack as coal-iron assessment blitz. Weird snow, granular like websites, like grains, like websites. Crunched ache-y universe … cosmocramps. Transvestism as blizzard intestine, collagen bronze polish on a nervy winter day. Come on, come on. Cheap mentions of celebrities: Anna Nicole Unicorn snowing all over the silent facilitator. Pink hair — blink and it’s gone. The pacifists with their little fishheads, the lurid blowback of raw grains, popular culture a dough on the nub of daze. A cyclamen screams over its background. I hallucinate my cynicism as fertile disguise and/or peevish rupture.
The Vanilla Monologues
For some reason, I have a renewed interest in perfumes. I bought a bottle of Coco the other day — my first perfume purchase in many years. I love it so much that I have been putting it on before bed just so I can fall asleep smelling it, and here at work I have been sniffing my wrists all day, delighted by how the fragrance inheres in the leather wristband of my watch. Then a student came in yesterday wearing a delightful fragrance I learned was Armani Code for women — lovely and beguiling!
My meandering curiosity led me to this blog: http://nowsmellthis.blogharbor.com/ where I learned of a few enticing-sounding perfumes. Fragrance writing is highly poetic by necessity — by definition it enacts a kind of negative capability. Fragrances can be described by analogy, but it is almost impossible to describe the gestalt — the alchemy — of a fragrance just by listing its ingredients. The list of ingredients creates a different kind of alchemy — a poetic one — generated by the extraordinarily beautiful lexicon of perfumes. Merely hearing words like vetiver, musk, violet leaf, and Lebanese cedar can be transportative.
This fragrance description, for example, is, to me, incredibly seductive:
Zenzero – (Oriental/Spice) Vanilla orchid perfume is warmed up with white ginger to create a seductively addictive fragrance that is as elegant as it is earthy. Zenzero translates to ginger in Italian and was a favorite spice ingredient of the Medici family for their 16th century perfume recipes. Delectably rich and deep, Zenzero is as luxurious as the finest cashmere wrap and captures the sensual glamour of a beautiful fall evening.
http://www.isabellaimports.com/PerfumeDescriptions.html
So this got me thinking — how is vanilla orchid different from — pardon the witticism — plain vanilla? Wikipedia informs me:
Vanilla is a genus of about 110 species in the orchid family (Orchidaceae), including the species Vanilla planifolia from which commercial vanilla flavoring is derived. The name came from the Spanish word “vainilla”, diminutive form of “vaina” (meaning “sheath”), which is in turn derived from Latin “vagina”.
Who knew?
OK,I guess a lot of people knew. I probably had heard that once upon a time. But I hadn’t really thought about it.
May your lives be filled with fragrance…
Faux Friend: Some people are not just unprofessional and disloyal, but insensitive, too.
Otohime 