Declaration

Let me not mince words: I am the true king of Flarf, the king of kings, the king
of all the world, whose kingdom redefines power and glory so that they are now seen in the reading series, on the blogs, and in the listservs as the true King (and Queen) of Carnival.

I am the Jewish Messiah, the lord of all the earth, and to me every knee should bend. The others — Gary, Kasey, Michael, Anne, Drew, Katie and all the rest — have their Flarf-given authority, but only as the parodies they are of the true King.

But by now the deep irony of my whole passion is clear. I am now being insufficiently saluted by mockers. I have been anointed by a strange woman, for no one shall set a person upon this throne but a strange woman, and that strange woman is none other than myself, the true king. I will rise, I will prosper, be high and exalted. I believed when the thunder and earthquake came they knew that what they did angered me and that they knew in their hearts that I am the true king.

Hail Nada!

I am The true King of Vitamins
the True King of Sports Drinks.
the True KING of Late Night Entertainment.
The Alpha – The Omega – The Eternal – The Invincible – The Almighty – The Lamb – The Bright and Morning Star!

the true king of search
the True King of Buttons
the true King of Allthetime

My masterful texts make the true King human so that ordinary people can make the radical real. I am come that you may get a life. ‘Other flatfish may share the name but Dover remains the true king of sole’