Month: October 2010

Men Are Creepy!

Nada GordonLeave a comment
I finally understand why women find men so creepy
What’s Worse: Slutty Women or Creepy Men?
Scottish men are creepy
Old white men are creepy
New York Times Shocker — Creepy Old Men Like Young Asian Women
And yes, many men ARE creepy. Avoid.
And one of the reasons needy men are creepy is because they can quickly turn angry when their needs are not met.
how come old white men are creepy, why don’t they just go to their girlfriends & wives and bother them?
well i think that mountain men are creepy
And because the men are creepy, the prostitutes tend to be equally as creepy.
Shoe – creepy men are creepy men.
No creepy man, smiling at me doesn’t make you less creepy. creepy men are creepy.
Not all men are creepy predator’s little green men are creepy .
White men are creepy for having positive feelings about asian culture.
Its ok to be a critically acclaimed mommy artist from documenting your children in the nude because only men are creepy.
Nothing really intellectually engaging here, it’s just that ice cream men are creepy and their trucks are damn annoying!

Men Are Monsters!

Nada GordonLeave a comment
All men are monsters, mother crooned.
I think most women are moody because most men are monsters. …
Men are monsters who crave young flesh. The end.”
Stalin was a monster, therefore all men are monsters.
these Candian men are monsters. They have sex a million times a year
Men are monsters, pedophiles and all, and Enablers are saints and carnival queens!
Men are monsters because of their reactions to women’s bodies
Eneven tho Im a man I do belive that most men are monsters and most women are angels.
Men are monsters, men are cads, But remember we have dads,
And without them there ‘d be quite a lack.
men are monsters ruled by the methamphetamine
All men are monsters and they do just what they please.
They like to have you there for their monstrocities.
“shark men”) are monsters found in Japanese folklore.
They are humanoid for the most part
with black skin and green, luminescent eyes
“All great men are monsters.” — Honoré de Balzac
Men are monsters! …They approach you with a sweet face,
then take your money and stuff!
You see, men are monsters and are to blame for everything bad in the universe.
Now I know that all men are monsters. [LADY WINDERMERE rings bell.]
The only thing to do is to feed the wretches well.
Some men are monsters blowing flutes,
and some have to stand up under the banner of drums.
At this time it is also called the Big head monster.
men are monsters and women are sugar and plums

Men are Scary!

Nada GordonLeave a comment

 @font-face { font-family: “Times New Roman”; }@font-face { font-family: “Berkeley”; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: Berkeley; }table.MsoNormalTable { font-size: 10pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

white men are scary.
Black Men ARE Scary
BRITISH men are scary?!
Poor , non ambitious men are scary
all you men are scary ,BUT VERY EXCITING!
oh my pig men are scary
well sometimes men are scary skinny
taurus men are scary, dominant and aggressive
all bearded men are scary
Eccentric Gay Men Are Scary           
turkish men are scary
German men are scary, even scarier when they are angry and in uniform!
Personally I think some of the muscle-men are scary
Old men are scary in general – I’m 23 now and I still can’t look at one without wishing he was younger and thus less scary.
overplucked, overwaxed men are scary on so many levels
Men are scary, wolves are scary, men PLUS wolf is even scarier! Eek!
airy men are scary men are scary men are scary men. Smilies are scary men are.
girly men are scary
Bald men are scary.
Bunny men are scary.
Giant lego men are scary
Army men are scary.
And yes, all ice cream men are scary, and dirty. It’s part of the pre-requisites.
Mountain men are scary enough without being infected.
mechanical men are scary because it seems as though lifeless metal and machines have come-alive
Weird creepy men are scary!!!!
men are scary slime balls of creepiness
o iis natural that dead men are scary. but dead man also dont bite. …

Beatles Ex-Wives Reunion

Nada Gordon1 Comment

Characters:

Maureen Cox
Jane Asher
Cynthia Lennon
Patti Boyd

The four women are sitting together in a posh London flat, pouring
cups of tea for each other as they speak.

Jane:  Those were the days. Crazed fans and screaming groupies
bombarding the stage in flurries of acrobatic activity. Slim fitting,
brightly coloured geometrical garments. Over-the-knee boots.

Cynthia:  Well yes, but  we have all been deeply wounded by women, as
they have been deeply wounded by men.

Patti: Men. Who needs them? Men are like….. Lava lamps. Sweet,
smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Jane:  I think men are like… mascara.

Patti:  Really? Why?

Jane:  After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. They
only show up when there’s food on the table.  They’re always in hot
water, and they need dough.

Maureen:  Ringo was… a short man.

Patti:  and…?

Maureen:  well, he had…”Little Man syndrome.”  You know:  what was
originally called the “Napoleon complex”.  It is a term used in
referring to people who are short in stature with a complex regarding
that stature. It also refers to people who are very competitive due to
height constraints. One Dictionary describes it thus: An angry male of
below the average height who feels it necessary to act out in an
attempt to gain respect and recognition from others to compensate for
his abnormally short stature.

Jane:  But Ringo didn’t seem so angry!

Maureen:  Well, he mainly took it out on the skins.  But you know, the
aggressive behavior he sometimes displayed was possibly a reaction to
repeated discrimination about his height in the school, workplace or
rejection by women because of his height. If the same behavior was
adopted by a tall guy, no one would notice. His height probably
developed into an “inferiority complex”. The “short person” always
assumes rightly or wrongly, that he is being pushed about by taller
men, pushed to the point of explosive aggression toward his
antagonist, this reaction can amuse the tall aggressor who keeps up
his taunts believing the short person incapable of retaliation.

Patti:  Both Eric and George were pretty tall.  I never had that
problem.  There were other issues.  I mean, they used to pluck me,
strum me, hold me horizontally.  Really kinky, actually.

Maureen:  Well, whatever the reason for the small person’s aggression,
it is a real problem in society and causes a lot of stress to that
person.

Jane:  But not if they are women.

Cynthia:  Right:  there’s nothing wrong with being a small women.  I
mean look, lots of Asian women are small. Asian women are popular with
western men because they are thin, beautiful, and sexy. They have
shrill voices and are good at conceptual art..  But the first and most
obvious reason is the look of an Asian bride. With shiny raven black
hair, lithe and slender figures, and very appealing eyes, who would
not be attracted to them? Their looks exude mystery and an exotic
appeal that most western males cannot resist. Sexy Asian girls look so
fragile and so delicate that most white men from America and Europe
and even other foreign men want to be their protector and knight in
shining armor. Asian women’s looks just bring out their masculinity.

Jane:   Masculinity.  HUMPH!  What a waste of time.  I think men are
like blenders.

Patti:  Why?

Jane:  Fun to look at, but not all that bright.  They always tell you
what to do and are usually wrong.   They take so long to mature.

Maureen:  Wankers.

Jane: Wangers!

Cynthia: Wank rags!

Patti: Wanksplats!

Cynthia: Wankstains!

Jane: Wastes of space!

Maureen: Wastes of sperm! For men know they shall be punished and
ostracized, blamed and shamed; they fear losing their mothers. They
fear being abandoned if they see women’s shadow and hold up a mirror.
Men fear losing our emotional umbilicals, and they do not know, deep
in their hearts, that they can feed themselves.

Patti:  Rare is the man who will stand and vent his justified anger at
women; rarer still is a man who will confront women with his righteous
rage. The few who do so around our sacred circles touch a raw nerve
and release a basso-profundo growl that fades, forgotten and ignored,
yet still resonates below the threshold of consciousness. Those men
create a nervousness and paranoia, then atavistic conditioning kicks
in. We ignore our mothers, turn to our fathers, and we scream our
challenge to only one of our parents.

Cynthia:  Patti, I’ve always wanted to ask you something.

Patti:  Be my guest, dearie.

Cynthia:  Were they really that different?  I mean, could you really
tell them apart?

Patti:  Not really.  One rock star is pretty much just like another.
They were both… dexterous.  Half the time I would just put a paper bag
over their heads and pretend they were the other one anyway. So… what
about John? What was he like in the sack?

Cynthia:  He was like… a plunger… or a noodle… I don’t know… but he
had such a short attention span.  He pretended he was into me, but
really he only liked Asian chicks. And everyone knows the main reason
that a Western man date or marry an Asian woman is the look. Asian
women have shiny black hair, slim figures, and attractive eyes to
attract many men.  You know, some western men are very much interested
with the rich and colourful Asian culture. There are just so many
things to learn and so many interesting people to meet. Sexy girls
from Asia are a part of that culture.  I guess I was just too mumsy
for him in the end.   Jane… I always thought… there was something
about Paul…

Jane:  What do you mean, exactly?

Cynthia:  well, I mean, wasn’t he a bit… twee?

Jane:  Twee as fuck, really. Always writing about furry little
creatures.  He liked the idea of vandalizing things with cute words.
When he was little  he swallowed a whistle and it got lodged in his
throat and that produced a mimsy-mumsy sweetness without any kind of
bite. His gender politics weren’t just egalitarian: If anything, they
celebrated the girly and the sweet, the affectedly dainty or quaint.
Twee as fuck, like a cute retro platform game.

Cynthia:  And to think he left you for that spotty photographer!

Maureen:  Men:  humph!

Jane: Faces like bulldogs licking piss off a nettle.

Patti: Faces like slapped arses.

Cynthia: Faces like wet weekends.

Maureen: Faces like dropped pies

Jane: only fancy their family jewels

Patti: farting in their spacesuits

Cynthia: felching, feeding ponies

Maureen: fiddling about with floozies

Jane: doing the five-knuckle shuffle

Patti: folically challenged

Cynthia: well, I don’t give a flying fuck.

Jane: More tea, darling?

Maureen:  That would be simply smashing.

(all the women throw their cups and saucers at the nearest wall.  they
exit to the sound of shattering.)

I will deceive myself about my loneliness and lie my way into community and love

Nada GordonLeave a comment

I call myself the last philosopher because I am the last human being. I
myself am the only one who speaks with me, and my voice comes to me as the
voice of someone who is dying. Let me commune with you for just one hour,
beloved voice, with you, the last trace of the memory of all human
happiness; with your help I will deceive myself about my loneliness and lie
my way into community and love; for my heart refuses to believe that love is
dead; it cannot bear the shudder of the loneliest loneliness and it forces
me to speak as if I were two persons. – Frederich Nietzsche

balance sheet

Nada Gordon1 Comment

@font-face { font-family: “Cambria”; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: “Times New Roman”; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }

I’m making a list of losses and gains.
Losses
husband
artistic partner
trust in people’s vows and promises (at least for now)
weight (120 to 107)
hair (I keep thinking I should ask the super to come up and unclog my drains, but that sounds embarrassingly louche)
sleep
sense of a vision of the future
joie de vivre (temporary)
Gains
closet space
friends (yay! friends!)
material (I’ll have a whole new book when I’m done with this)
independent identity free from infection by his prejudices, biases, paranoias, etc.
prescriptions
debt
freedom (although I’m still too totally bewildered to know what to do with it)