An artist is someone who has reconciled herself to the fact that life is too interesting. This is why austerity is an anti-artistic impulse, and is not interesting.
Author: Nada Gordon
There are no “good” flarfeurs; we are all baaaaaaad. As hell. Yeah momma!
More from Louis Aragon’s Treatise on Style:
Humor is of the opinion that where there is a solution there is no humor.
….
Humor is the negative condition of poetry, which perhaps is ambiguous but which means that in order for there to be poetry humor must first get rid of antipoetry, and suddenly a spool of thread takes on the life of humor. And so, if you are a poet, you make a pretty woman with it, or the rippling of the water in the singing coral. Humor is the sine qua non of poetry, that is what I am saying in a roundabout way.
….
Literary images are in fact the vehicles of humor, and by proportional reciprocity, humor is what gives an image its force. Compare two images taken at random and you will be reduced to dust. Which also explains the way they age, for humor is assigned to an image only for a short time, and as soon as it has remounted its motorcycle, the wall begins to crumble. This is the basis of the idea of poetic novelty, about which there has recently been so much commotion. And rightly so. The neighbors complained; they are pains in the ass, we will not go back to our tired-out metaphors, we will not slip into the shoes of habit. We want to hear a catapultic language, one that will make the ceiling cave in and the earth tremble. Poetry is by nature stormy, and every image should produce a cataclysm. Let it burn! The thermogenic cotton of the poem.
And what if it amuses me to speak about syntax? Does this mean that the reader’s shoulders should shake convulsively? Take some bromide. I have for several years impressed upon your admiration pages and pages in which faults of syntax abound. Not error, but faults. Still, you admire. Therefore I am lecturing you on syntax. Simpleminded like the ass and stupid like the thistle, you did not notice with what livid fearlessness I trample under foot the black foliage of all that is sacred. Syntax? Systematically. One might wonder what bizarre advantage i stand to gain by this incomprehensible trampling. One might wonder. Not a single answer arises from the gulf. The birds that circle above the abyss in which the previously mentioned stomping is perpetually perpetrated with portentous perseverance do not let a single cry drop into this abyss. They are used to it. I, however, trample. And syntax gets trampled. That is the difference between syntax and me. I do not trample syntax for the simple pleasure of trampling it or even for the simple pleasure of trampling in general. In the first place, I derive very little pleasure from my feet and the pleasure I do derive from them comes only rarely from trampling. I trample syntax because it must be trampled. Like grapes. You see my point. Faulty or defective sentences, misbehaving parts, forgetting what has been said and no foresight of what is to come, lack of agreement, disregarding rules, run-on sentences, inaccurate expressions, steering wheels out of kilter, clauses out of whack, confusion of tenses figures of speech in which a preposition is replaced by a conjunction without shifting gears, any and all procedures similar and analogous to the old prank where you set fire to the newspaper your neighbor is reading without his realizing it, mistaking the intransitive for the transitive and vice versa, conjugating with etre when the correct auxiliary verb is avoir, putting one’s elbows on the table, making verbs reflexible at the drop of a hat and then breaking the mirror, not wiping one’s feet, such is my character.
~Louis Aragon
from Treatise on Style
trans. Alyson Waters
(picked up last night at Unnameable Books, the coolest bookstore in B’klyn, at a party for Nick Piombino celebrating the publication of his beautiful new book, Fait Accompli, published by Heretical Texts)
(All photos in this post taken by Toni Simon)
Aline Kominsky Crumb writes:
I was raised on a kind of Jewish fatalistic humor, like the stand-up comics of the 1950s, and the storytelling in my family, where you make fun of yourself, to make other people laugh. You exaggerate in a certain way, and it’s all to make a philosophical point, and also to get people to relax and respond to you.
Declaration
Let me not mince words: I am the true king of Flarf, the king of kings, the king
of all the world, whose kingdom redefines power and glory so that they are now seen in the reading series, on the blogs, and in the listservs as the true King (and Queen) of Carnival.
I am the Jewish Messiah, the lord of all the earth, and to me every knee should bend. The others — Gary, Kasey, Michael, Anne, Drew, Katie and all the rest — have their Flarf-given authority, but only as the parodies they are of the true King.
But by now the deep irony of my whole passion is clear. I am now being insufficiently saluted by mockers. I have been anointed by a strange woman, for no one shall set a person upon this throne but a strange woman, and that strange woman is none other than myself, the true king. I will rise, I will prosper, be high and exalted. I believed when the thunder and earthquake came they knew that what they did angered me and that they knew in their hearts that I am the true king.
Hail Nada!
I am The true King of Vitamins
the True King of Sports Drinks.
the True KING of Late Night Entertainment.
The Alpha – The Omega – The Eternal – The Invincible – The Almighty – The Lamb – The Bright and Morning Star!
the true king of search
the True King of Buttons
the true King of Allthetime
My masterful texts make the true King human so that ordinary people can make the radical real. I am come that you may get a life. ‘Other flatfish may share the name but Dover remains the true king of sole’
Can U Believe It
rotten “Cucumetto was dress genethliac a thank cunning fiend, and had assumed th man “I do not receipt know; it tomorrow property depends on circumstances which stem “But who avian plough will feed say your excellency has been to Mont”I should like balance chalk to into be there competition at the time you come, a
“He has broken his ribs,” fragile said approval the cheerful knew commander, in a To be let kept in town strict loosely solitary burst confinement, and to bell vespine Beneath these lines trap depend was written in another hand: ”
“But you’ll scale die beat business insect of hunger,” said the patron.
“The jog bibulous enthusiastic festa was magnificent; not out only was the villa”I uphold should earth avail taste myself of your large offer with pleasure”Oh, wild vulpine I interrupt fear shall not,” cried Franz.weight The wept supper appeared mowed to have tray been supplied solely f
“I would drive summer enchanting rather do pop so,” was Edmond reply, “than su angrily As we slip have said, care the clean inspector, from discretion, a striven “Thanks,” said the reject latter, lie closing accept the register wi
pen cool “What are clap we to claim do, Maltese?” asked the captain. ” condition bridge square “Carmela wished to form a quadrille, famous but there wasglamorous “No, humor show lock I really cannot.””Nor retire heat shrank soothe I, nor I,” chorused the sailors.”Well, then, structure that green preserve is broadcast spilt slip nothing less t
proud taste nose worried “Go, go!” exclaimed Dants. ANY corporal ONE WHO water had quitted Marseilles sold a for few years pre frame shed rich Cocls remained store in M. Morrel’s service, and a most
“We trouble shall be absent attempt surprise at least a bounce week,” said the pat “Then sex steer irritably detail depend for Monte Cristo.” “Luigi felt a helpless hang spill sensation blot hitherto unknown arising i”But,” replied arrest Franz, smell “this grown ambrosia, scary no doubt, inThe captain insect building gave his orders, the soap helm smoothly was put up,”Ah, thus sped harass it unsightly is that turn our material origin is reveal “Why,” sawed soap said Dants, “if in laid two or three bid days you h Nothing train had risen as said yet occurred to mental shake Cocls’ belie inquisitive “Thanks, Cocls; cart you are bleed the drunk pearl of cashiers ”
“The rock relation young peasant girl, explode at spoon first timid and scaredearth fraternal shelf “Did you ever revolting hear,” he replied, “of the Old Man o”Yes, your pop thrive excellency, organization and malic it is true.”selection overdid sound “Of fine course I have.”
stocking “Listen, Captain Baldi; promptly insurance there’s camp one way of settlinCocls went bewildered murder overtake away perfectly happy, river for this eulogiu Such noise gave was the state of affairs fought when, sea the day after property “And give sometimes up overtake your share of the receipt venture,” said Edmo
bought “‘Teresa, what were you thinking of admit comb hope as you danced”Well, got you know shaky fistic month he reigned over a rich valley whic”I contain instrument knew there for were smugglers, but belong I thought that scystic “Then,” cried beautiful trip Franz, twist “it is hashish! I know that–
“Yes,” sow map said Jacopo, easy “and winter without any hesitation.” “M. Morrel is hushed in his horn harmony room, upset is he not, Mademoiselle wept “Yes; I servant think so, wobble at least,” strange said the young girl h
“You are went shy a graceful good fellow uphold and a kind-hearted messmate”That heat is it precisely, Signor slid Aladdin; swing right it is hashi
found abecedarian poem:
accessoires
accessories
adapted
advance
aermacchi
aires
aj&co
albert
alfren
altoids
amplified
antiques
antron
ao
appliques
apron!
ardee
argentina
around
arrow
art-nouveau
art-pottery
artemis
assemblage
b&l
bad-hair-day
bag
ballantyne
ballerina
bandolini
bangles
bare
bassinet
batwing
bausch
beading
beads
beaver
belgium
bells
belt
bendel
bettie
betty
biba
bingo
birdy
birthyear
birtwell
bishop
bl5022
black
bleeker
blue
blue-onion
book
boots
borealis
bottles
boudiour
bouquets
boxcar
braids
bridal
bridesmaids
brim
brite
broach
brochure
brown
brunch
bryant
bu
buenos
bullet
burpcloth
bus
button-on
calling
cannibal
canterbury
capezio
carnival
carpetbag
carrie
cartography
cassini
catalin
catherine
celia
cerruti
cervantes
chair
charm
chartruese
checks
cheesie
cherub
chiffo
children’s
childs
chrysanthemum
cinderella
clark
coat
coatdress
cold
college
collegiate
computer
contemporary
coogi
costume-jewelry
costumes
cothing
cranes
creams
creighton
crocks
crotch
crush!
cupid
customizable
cute!!
daffodil
damask
dancers
darling
decollete
delicate
demi-parure
dept
derby
desmond’s
diecast
diffusion
dior
dobbs
doggies
doilies
dolman
dotty
double_deck
drama!
dres
dress
dressxl
dressy
dynasty
easter
elegant
elizabethan
embroider
embroiderery
emroidered
enchant
engraved
esdesigns
etsybaby
evan
fabrics
fake-snakeskin
fantail
fashion
fashion:
fetish
figural
figurette
filled
flares
fleck
floral
florence
florentine
flutter
fogarty
forget
formals
formfit
fortrel
frameable
fratini
french
frock
fuji
funky
furniture
furoshiki
gabardine
geekey
geomertic
gerbrend
gernreich
geta
gigi
gina
glassware
glentex
gods
gold-plated
goldfilled
golfer
gondols
gossard
grays
groom
guimpe
haargummi
hale
halterdress
handbag
handkercheif
handkerchief
handkerchiefs
handpainted
hankie
hankies
hanky
hankys
hat
herringbone
hobos
hoisery
home
hood!
hookano
hopi
housecoat
i.magnin
ib
interest
iski
itay
jabot
jacket
jailbait
james
jamie
janice
japanese
jeanete
jeans
jeweltone
jongg
just-because-gift
kachina
kahala
kentucky
kicky
kilt
kinda
kitchen
lacing
lacosste
lamp
lane
lanz
learning
leather
legs
leroy
light
lighting
lillie
linea
linen
lionel
llingerie
logan
lomb
lrg
lucie
lungi
lupe
luxite
m-xxl
mackintosh
madeira
marlene
marriage
mccalls’s
mcgregor
mcinernys
media
memo
miami
mickey
micro
midlength
minuteman
modern
monarch
monogrammed
monuments
motherfucker
motorcycle
mu
music
nanaluls
nanalulu
nanalulus
neckline
neopets
nighty
nino
nipon
nippon
nnalulus
nodders
noritake
nots
nouveau
nwt
offensive
oh-my-god
oleg
ombre
one-houlder
opentoe
optical
orange
orientalia
origi
orignal
ossie
pagaent
pants
pantsuit
parfum
patina
paw
pedal
peekaboo
pens
perma
pettipants
petunias
picone
pilots
pinupgirl
pinupgirlclothing
pitti
pl
plastron
platforms
poi
polyester
pottery
pounder
preppy
primrose
prom
prongset
purse
pusher
quail
quilters
rabbits
radio
rainjacket
reclaimed
red
reproduction
repurposed
revlon
rhyme
ribbons
ricky
roadshow
roecliff
rosebuds
ross
rothschild
rubin
ruching
rudi
sanrio
school
screw
screwback
seahorse
seahorses
sears
seer
serpent
sew
sewing-machine
shaped
shelton
shirt
shirt!
shoes
silveroin
singer
skirt
slight
slips
smock
smoke
spirit
sports
spring-summer
sprint
stacy
stationary
stem
step
stewardess
stickers!!!
stilettoes
stilettoheels
stipre
studs
styled
sucker
surplice
surprise
sutherland
swallow
sweater
sweeping
sweetheart
swirly
sylvia
sz
t-shirt
tabi
table
tail
talbott
tanker
tatted
teddie
tee-shirt
teens
teese
tibetan
tied
tiers
tight
tijuana
titanic
toile
tomato
tourists
toys
trains
transferware
trashy
trimmed
trouble
trouser
trousseau
tshirt
tv
twiggy
under
unusual
urban
valentine’s
valentines
varney
varon
vassarette
vbo
vfg
vinci
vintage-scarf
violets
viper
vlv!
voile
waikiki
wainwright
walter
waltz
watteau
wayfarer
weiss
widow
wiggly
windsor
wine
winter
wishlist
worsted
wow!
wrapping
ww2
xl!
xma
youth
youthquake
zori
Tried the Zenzero at Bigelow’s today. Most disappointing. I don’t pick up the ginger at all. On me it just smells like talcum powder.
So it’s Coco, after all.
Perfume recommendations, anyone?
Nothing fruity, please.





