Author: Nada Gordon

skirt artist entertainer ESL teacher poet

One Big Happy Family!!

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Have you ever secretly wished your family
could be like the Brady Bunch
where everyone got along like one big happy family?
one big, happy, inbred, necrophiliac family?
one big happy, comfortable, not awkward family?
a close-knit family of four dealing with life
as a morbidly obese household?

As the drama between Mashonda, Swizzy
and Alicia Keys begins to dwindle down,
the onset of real life is unfolding:
Grandmother reveals her pride
at her two daughter’s teenage pregnancies
while the whole group live off the state.

Tibet: One big, happy family.
One big happy family – Obama and Palin!
One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory
My favorite kind of food ever is omelets.
They’re just so good and you can do so much with them

My parents fought allll day yesterday
and I woke up this morning to hear
my mom yelling at my dad, again.
Is a happy couple a boring couple?

Next, we have to find a happy looking couple
to turn into a gothic nightmare. How about
a Young Happy Couple In Love Relaxing On A White Couch?

attractive, background, beach, beautiful, beauty,
body, charm, couple, desire, erotic, face, family,
feeling, friend, friendship, girl, happiness, happy…

They fought all night last night,
they even fought about pizza
and they weren’t even drunk
(but they did get drunk later on
which made things so much worse).

Turtles are having Orgasms to Turtles’ Happy Together
//So// Happy Together. Come all you fair and tender
maidens. Take care with how you court young men.
They’re like a star on a cloudy morning.
I’m just sick of it. I can’t stand to live
like this, but what else can I do?

O-o-o-oh So happy together O-o-o-oh
How is the weather Ba, ba ba ba ba
So happy together Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba
We’re happy together Ba ba ba ba

Western civilisation is probably
my favourite civilisation of all

the crone

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So I was just out on Church Ave. doing my Sunday marketing.  I went into one of the five and dime stores to buy a bunch of padded envelopes to mail my book in, and when I came out I made eye contact with a tiny crone sitting on the bench just outside the store. She had a kind of  black dyed pompadour and huge silver hoop earrings, a leathery face, cloudy eyes, and an interestingly large nose.
Crone:  Hey, you got a pretty face, c’mere, talk to me.
[I approach her]
Crone:  You Jewish?
Me:  Yes.
Crone:  You married?  Got kids?
Me:  My husband left me. No kids.
Crone:  When he leave you?
Me:  Two months ago.
Crone:  C’mere, sit down by me. [ I sit by her… she takes my hand… I notice she has some sort of flyers advertising fortune-telling or astrology in her other hand.]  I need a cup of coffee.
Me:  You want a dollar?
Crone:  A dollar’s not enough.  [I give her three dollars.  What the hell, I think.] Your husband cheating? He with someone else?
Me:  Yeah.
Crone:  He still think about you.  He with someone else but he still think about you.
Me:  I don’t want him back.
Crone:  He do it again and again.  He Jewish?
Me:  No.
Crone:  You give me money for candles, I pray for you tonight, I light candles. Money not for me, it for candles.
Me:  No, that’s OK.  Can I take your picture?
Crone:  No, I don’t like that.  Why you want take my picture?
Me:  Because you’re interesting.
Crone:  Anyway I pray for you tonight.  Be healthy, be happy.
Me:  OK.
[and I go on my way]

I remember: private/ public

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the perfect metricality of these lines I wrote for him, in a poem that
was published in Are Not Our Lowing Heifers Sleeker Than Night-Swollen
Mushrooms?:   

It’s private how my finger finds 
your golden hairy asshole

I do love the irony of that.

i count the days

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Hail morning, full
of gross mistakes.
Birds creep in subway
rafters: clatter of
obsessive songs
or fruits of threat –
or theory of cold
sweat – heavy white
richness in spun rage –
I know
it was a cage. but
it was a cage
I wanted. Now,
it’s haunted.
Endospasm: spawn
chasm.  I fiddle
with a worry wheel.
Grey clouds gasp
the seagulls flying
past – in nodes
of memory.
The groaning
yonder. Under
his weak, spoiled
gender.
Tugged under:
the empress
of tug. Snug
as a bug
in fine
disaster.
Shanghaied.
I’d been, you know,
a jester. Hilarity
my saving grace.
I’ve lost it for a while
in blinding ache.
.
Blow, ye winds
about my tattered
garment. Harshness
of visible world a
sandy mirror.
Absolute hollow
blueness
in a reservoir
of absence.
Low. lowing.
Muscled pride:
the chicken neck’s
veiny vuln… and pain…
I walk the hollow streets
with hollow cheeks
and  huge chalk x.
Blast: jumpy quiet
untruth: messier than what
was limp and wrong
and veined like bluish
hell: thin skin
globes, and her as
tool or wedge.
Weakly little chicken
thigh, ugly meat
part, meat flap. Flap
flap. Runaway: cum
runs down her skinny leg
like spitup.
Tied knots of juicy
membrane – wiry net
of hangup lies. Crouching
mongrel’s stretched
globular sac. Studded
with gnats and chiggers –
ethnic eerie music –
transparent ear – failed
mate.
Radiant pucker: a fly’s
skin: squeezed… oozing.
If I see her I shall see her
and I’ll squeeze her till
she…
chomping. predatrix.
Night of jolts. Evey night:
jolts.
Freaky centipede
smashed
brown streak stain
on whiteness. Witness
to his weakness.
Ugly whimper
rots implosion’s
whiny jism.
Hilarity
my grace.
I’ve lost it for a while
in ache.
He fucks
her ooze –
then mine.
Sack of shit
lying inside
his head.
She wipes it
with her predatory
tongue. It’s weird.
In purgatory
fizz, a woman
on the subway
yanks my
beard.

banana sonata

Nada Gordon16 Comments

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A Baa Arson Anus Ya Tun To
A Baa Roan Sat Ya Snout Nu
A Baa Roan Ass Ya Unto Nut
A Baa An Oat As No Runty Us
A Baa An Oat As Runny To Us
A Baa An Ran Ass On Yo Tutu
A Baa An Ran Ass Nu Out Toy
A Baa An Ran Anus Tot Yo Us
A Banana Sonata To Usury
A Banana Satan Roust You
A Banana Satan Yours Out
A Banana Sauna Rosy Tout
A Banana Aortas Stun You
A Banana Aura Snouts Toy
A Banana Taut Ay Nor So Us
A Bananas An Ay Tortuous

Chihuahua Noises

Nada Gordon2 Comments

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She whimpered when he curled his hand

around her mound “Oh, god,” she whimpered.
What if a chihuahua sounds like she’s coughing up
hairball?  As my stiffness bottomed out of her,
she whimpered softly at the emptiness left behind.
Chihuahua Making Monkey Noises: it sounds like
a reverse sneeze. it appears that ***** women
tend to make incredibly whiny, squeaky noises
during the act:  Chihuahua stomach noises?,
Chihuahua upset stomach?, Puppy tummy noises?
Chihuahua Danger, Mammal Sound Effects,
and audiosparx extend their necks, make snorting
or honking noises, open their mouths… chihuahua
makes hacking noises and spits up what looks like spit.
Every time you have sex with an ***** woman, a puppy
dies. She whimpered again and wiggled above him.
Chihuahuas can also make snorting and grunting noises
when they are playing or just investigating a new smell.
Vocal pitch is only partially the result of anatomical
differences between men and women, and the remaining
factor is due to culturally expected norms.
***** Girl Sex Screams Race Car Sounds While Fucking
A chihuahua puppy sounds like a quail.
all ***** women make anime noises while you’re
having sex with them.  Furthermore, *** girls  are honest,
kind, friendly and they take care of their boyfriends,
husbands and children better than others. From cooking to cleaning
to cars, engines, girls, hairy, noise, porn, race, scream, and sex.
Pubic Hair question: Do ***** peoples have pubic hair?
Develop a slightly arrogant, upright walk. The way you walk
greatly reflects on how confident you are, and *** girls love
confidence. Plus always remember to keep your chest out and
shoulders back, this will make you appear to be wider
and stronger than you actually are.