A Poem by THE FLARFOLOGIST (not me). I tellya, those FLARF guys are really kinking out the jams. I mean kicking:

MAINSTREAM POETRY

Poems are, like, total bullshit unless they are

squid or popsicles or deer piled

on elk in the trunk of David Hasselhoff‚s

Cutlass Sierra. “Or black ladies dying

of men leaving nickel hearts

beating them down.” MAINSTREAM poems

and they are USEFUL ˆˆ Great if you like

having a Popsicle stuck in “I love George Bush,” like,

the popsicle squid goes “gong” when all the other

dishes run out of toilet paper, how far can Bush go

with a squid up his motherfuckin ass ˆˆ see what I mean?

We want LIVE world wide words of the MAINSTREAM ready

to sink her teeth into the flesh of our Deputy Defense Secretary

Paul Wolfowitz when the napalm in his blood

starts cooking. I could kill an entire day

with a popsicle stick and a small jar of insignificant

brain cells lost in the 70’s by George W. Bush. We want

poems like epileptic Pokemon fits on Walmart‚s

lingerie racks, MAINSTREAM poems to smear on

a photo spread entitled the “Women of Enron,” to showcase 50%

Chance Of May Rate Hike whose numbers are

Glycerin Suppositories between the asscheeks of

Justin Timberlake ˆˆ Check it out ! Photos, Soundtracks, Video Clips,

Fan Boards and More! Fucked-up poems that everybody understands

like “The Morality Of Money 4:46 pm CD Sludge UQ

Wire: Kissinger ˆˆ Bloody Hands,” cavity searching the man himself

with the broken off end of his Run-DMC glasses and

sending the swab sample to the Olson Twins for analysis.

Knockoff poems for Sindhis and Baluchis, Kurds, hundreds of

Brittany fans, some in full cowboy dress with a smattering

of applause from the Tekken Anime fans doing

their 5 Kick Massacre sidethrow, clutching their throats

and puking themselves into eternity “as TV Heroes

safe from these Viagra mushrooms proceed

to kick the Bard’s ass in a Tom Hanks Bison-Death” ˆˆ sub-

way poems like, “Aw yeeh, got my NASDAQ petunias

AAWWWL mixed up, woah, thass nice, flufffy lil

mestizo couch doing the ROLAID smooch in my NAWSTRils,

hhuh hauh ,,, Mkaeing some TYPos, cuz i wasnna be PRASSident of

the Ungdidtyedf Stsnaatesand go to coleege with a ANDROiD bitch!!!!!!”

Robert Pinksy is pinned to a comfy chair at his favorite

hangout spot, a Barnes & Noble Café in Louisville Kentucky

reading a poem that begins, “I love shopping

in Brooks Brothers, oh, / and I found the cutest

sheer / cappuchino colored button” . . . rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . .

In his award-winning epic poem he revisited

Homer’s The Iliad and The Odyssey, relocating to

Gap Kids . . . rrrrrrrrrrrrrr . . .

Aggghhh . . . searches Google . . .

Put it on him MAINSTREAM poet! Strip him nayKID

to the world wide world. Another MAINSTREAM POEM cracking

squid tentacles upside the tea-stained skulls of the

FAKE-ASS MAISTREAM . . . poem scream

Son ecologistas; y Jorgito Bush es todo, “izquierdosos, moros,

Archienemigos,” ˆˆ Qué puta mierda. Me cago en Bush

y los 365 santos del año!! Llego tarde a la iglesia!

El jodido televisor no funciona!

Tongue-kiss the MAINSTREAM world for love.

Let their be no non-mainstream poems written until

love can exist freely on the headstones of Nixon‚s inner

circle. Let MAINSTREAM PEOPLE understand

that they are the lovers and the daughters and sons

of lovers and workers and children

of workers Are poems & poets &

all the loveliness here in the world

We want a MAINSTREAM poem. And a

MAINSTREAM WORLD.

Let the world be a mainstream poem

And Let All Mainstream People Speak This Poem

Silently

Or LOUD