WHAT I BELIEVE

I’m a Jewess Orientalist from California.

Cotton is the fabric most similar to our psyches, because it’s the most resilient. Liquid plumber ruins the pipes.

I believe in the theory of trigger points and chronic pain. I believe in the gravitational pull of the moon, pop astrology. I think about cotton a lot.

I believe that cats are capable of a huge range of behaviors, emotions and perceptions, more than we usually imagine.

I like ablutions. I keep my problems in a hatbox on the armoir I bought on eBay for $500. Fish oil is enormously curative.

I was probably around five when my grandmother took me to temple for the first time, for Purim, I think. I had stories from the Old Testament with wonderful illustrations.

Esther is in my pantheon of heroines, along with Elizabeth I and Carla Harryman.

I believe in total eunuch action.

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MORRIENTALISM

Rabbi Hillel invented Flarf on one leg. Or maybe it was Rabbi Akiva.

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Often I am permitted to return to a mikvah.