An old favorite, written for Thanksgiving 2002:

Fleshy Red Thing (a Thanksgiving Poem from Gary & Nada)

Fasten off wattle (using red). Attach red to any head-cluster

insane fasten of secure ends. Make sure wings

hang free so they appear to “flap”. Repeat for red wattle:

wrap around your finger to form spirals. Hang snood red

on neck. Cut around red or wattle. To create eyes, draw

a black void on each pom-pom, then cut out all yellow and

glue construction in place. Perverse people can order

wattle dimsum dumplings in New York’s Chinatown.

Uninflate “nose” at one end, then knot off the wattle. To make

turkey talk, cut out a pair of small felt triangles and glue

them to opposite sides. What is the bright red appendage?

Loose changes in your neck can make you look older.

It feels like your ear lobe. Carefully moisten a V-shape

arising from the forehead. Glue on two googly eyes and fill up

with blood. Make the turkey’s lungs knot together

in center of folded napkin (do not inflate them).

You put your whole wattle in

You put your whole wattle out

You put your whole wattle in

And you shake it all about.

I don’t dare write a truthful personal ad: “Enlarged pores, dozens

of new age spots, emergent wattle. Boop-bleep-boop-

whooo-blip I’m Ronald Reagan. I’m … mind?” As in mammals,

birds have a four-chambered heart; however,

a Turkey’s heart is proportionately larger and more powerful.

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