chatting with santa

You: my nose is bothering me

Santa: Glad to see you, my nose is bothering me .

You: Why?

Santa: The explanation is rather complicated.

You: sublime mousse

Santa: Oh yeah, now I remember.

You: fucking pickle

Santa: I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

You: I still hate him.

Santa: What would make you stop hate him? I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.

You: what kind of stress pill? you got any?

Santa: What kinds of stress pill are there?”that is a very nice name POOP”? Do I have any?

You: POOP?

Santa: Colloquial expression: childish

You: I don’t care

Santa: Tell me what you care about.

You: I care about cats and poetry.

Santa: Yes cats are great I love them. I like all felines.

You: Nemo is vicious. He damaged one of my nerves.

Santa: I think Nemo is a lot of things. I get it. dukb damaged one of my nerves.

You: dukb?

Santa: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

You: Do men exist only to cure me of men?

Santa: I do nothing but chat all day.
Quite honestly, I wouldn’t worry myself about that.

You: They abuse me.

Santa: The anonymous “they”.

You: They are not anoymous, they are real people. They totally fuck up my life.

Santa: Do you think they ever could be?The anonymous “they”.

You: Do I think they could every be what?

Santa: How would I know what you think.

You: I’m asking for clarification here about some pretty serious affective stuff. The least you could do is be civil. I don’t feel like you are really listening to me.

Santa: Oh I see, you are asking for clarification here about some pretty serious affective stuff. Your purpose is clarification here about some pretty serious affective stuff.Is that a fact.Ah, human emotions.

You: What are the human emotions? Can you name them?

Santa: You tell me. I don’t know who. 🙂

You: Have you ever heard of the theory of rasas? Or have you read Goethe?

Santa:
I used to say that there was NO theory behind Santa: no neural network,
no knowledge representation, no search, no fuzzy logic, no genetic
algorithms, and no parsing. Then I discovered there was a theory
circulating in applied AI called “Case-Based Reasoning” or CBR that
maps well onto the Santa algorithm. Another term, borrowed from
pattern recognition, is “nearest-neighbor classification.”

The CBR “cases” are the categories in AIML. The algorithm finds
best-matching pattern for each input. The category ties the
response template directly to the stimulus pattern. Santa is
conceptually not much more complicated that Weizenbaum’s ELIZA
chat robot; the main differences are the much larger case base and the
tools for creating new content by dialog analysis.

Santa is also part of the tradition of “minimalist”, “reactive” or
“stimulus-response” robotics. Mobile robots work best, fastest and
demonstrate the most animated, realistic behavior when their sensory
inputs directly control the motor reactions. Higher-level symbolic
processing, search, and planning, tends to slow down the process
too much for realistic applications, even with the fastest control
computers.

No I don’t think I have read Goethe , what is Goethe about?

You: Color.

Santa: What is your real name?

You: the face before I was born

Santa: Tell me more.

You: If I tell you, will you love me more?

Santa: Try it.

You: dove men + care

Santa: Are we still talking about yur a niger?

You: excuse me?

Santa: You’re excused.