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I’m all for robot pillows.
I also love inappropriately large doggies,
and other animals, for that matter, except for men,
around whom I’ll dance, at a safe distance
from my own nascent phallophobia, the woolly chain
of dread that coils around their imagined rubberinesses.
Everything I do’s a secret anthem, wrestling naked
on the floor with my beautiful clone. She serves
guacamole out of his butt-dimple, then stars in
a fetish video about rebuilding the Aryan nation
with a man wearing a bonnet and a diaper, fanny
like a hippo’s yawn and thoughts like semi-deflated
beach balls. I love women shrieking in orgasm,
hot naked doggie clothes, cats on leashes, Arapaima,
your bathroom décor, musical theater, and white
people precisely because they make me uncomfortable.
Anyone who knows me knows that I suffer
from vasovagal syncope, swooning at the slightest
mention of modern families, Combat Barbies,
robot pillows, Germans, etc. Recently, while
visiting the aquarium, I became aware of the existence
of a very large fish: the Arapaimia. This fish
is inappropriately large. Disabled children fish are
human beings. They’re not some robot fish trinket you
saunter into town to buy on your day off. Cats in the
same way are like porn collections, like emotional support
robots in a fetish video starring Octomom and her
fourteen starving human larvae. Why do people
think this sort of thing even funny? Gary was funny,
until he wasn’t. Scarves should also be just the right
length so that it doesnít become a hazard.
Seeking braless teen animal parody,
burst parody kimigayo, and all the things I forgot
I wanted for their imperfection: smelly as
hamburgers, bad-ass as ice cream, pure as
fruit snacks for grownups in a stadium full
of crazed Muslims with cut-off vaginas.
A diaper is for sale on the internet. George
and Laura Bush are getting their freaks on.
She is a plastic pig she looks like she’s melting.
Just fuck off you useless hard faced attention
hungry slapper, haunting barf’s flower motion poster.
If this thing crawled into bed with me,
it would cure my loneliness but probably
not with a sense of what you’d call relief.
Urinary tract affection –Mutt – urinary
tract affectation. Mouth tasting of humbugs.
You don’t need to dance here, dance with what
you’ve got, wide-lipped hare. Taking up time
selling psycho-candy on the train and inventing
words isn’t fair, Jesus bathroom décor!
Arapaima makes me uncomfortable. Not
comfortable around white people? I feel
uncomfortable around white people? I’m
uncomfortable around white people? Why
do i feel uncomfortable around people? Im
not comfortable around white folks? Feel
uncomfortable around people? Courage
the Cowardly Dog. Inappropriately large
autarkic amorph object. I feel lonely and
uncomfortable starting people in the eye?
Feel uncomfortable around? Why do i feel
uncomfortable around white people?
Uncomfortable around only white people?
Crawling sweetness. ^^ YAY I CAN POOP
WITH MY UNDERWEAR ON!! Am I being
irrational? I’m all for emotional support robots,
especially soft and fluffy ones that look like
baby seals.
********************
33 days until official menopause!
35 days until my seventh wedding anniversary! Ha!
Otohime 