Happy New Year!

Here’s what Gary and I sang at the St. Mark’s Poetry Project Annual marathon yesterday. It is, of course, to the tune of “My Favorite Things”:

NADA:

Rhinestone cacophony smelling like fossils
Replicant president quoting apostles
Mayonnaise underpants, tabular wings –
These are a few inexplicable things

GARY:

Twirly menageries wrapped in wax paper
Rococo primates and lipstick with capers
Puberty molecules, globular strings
These are a few inexplicable things

NADA:

When I’m pacing
up at midnight
and I scratch my beard
I can’t figure out inexplicable things
And that makes me feel… so weird…

GARY:
Lactating nuns give abortion to walrus
Leave it to Beaver stars Telly Savalas

NADA:
Grandmother’s labia flapping like wings

GARY:
These are a few inappropriate things

NADA:
Sandals with tube socks and belching in public
Picking at acne or massaging dog dick

GARY:
Cooking a steak for a family of Singhs

NADA:
These are a few inappropriate things

GARY:
When I’m peeing
out the window
of my hitch-hiked ride
I think of a few inappropriate things
and then I don’t feel … so shy!

Nada:

Parasites, peptides and pussycat scratches
Birth-control implants and nicotine patches
Botox injections with needles that sting
These are a few subcutaneous things

Gary:

Maritime tattoos and beauty that’s deeper
Scarification that leaves you a keeper
Silicone mammaries, lovers that cling
These are a few subcutaneous things

Both:

When the skin breaks
When the cut goes
Rather deeply in
I just think of these subcutaneous things
And then I don’t feel… thin-skinned…

Both:

[GARY] Eyedrops in noses, [NADA] and tunafish blossoms
[GARY] Mongeese and meercats [NADA] and sheep and oppossums
[GARY] Marbles and cucumbers tied up with string
[NADA] These are a few miscellaneous things

[NADA] Girls in white dresses, [GARY] refillable toner
[NADA] Snowflakes that stay on a boy with a boner
[GARY] Bureaucrats flying around on the wing
[BOTH] These are a few miscellaneous things

[Nada]When the elk bites
[Gary] When the squid stings
[Both] When I’m feeling sad
I just think of these miscellaneous things
And then I don’t feel so bad…